I’m pregnant and the father is obsessed with drink, drugs and cheating… but I can’t let go

I HAD wonderful sex with my female cousin and thought it was the start of us having a relationship – which I would love.

Now she is going out with my mate — but my feelings for her are stronger than ever.

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I'm in love with my cousin but she's with my best mateCredit: Getty - Contributor

I have loved her for the past six years and she always said I am her favourite boy cousin.

We spent loads of time together as children and even had a few secret kisses back when we were teenagers.

I am 21 now and single, while she is 23 and in an on-off relationship with a friend of mine from school, who is 22.

My older brother is emigrating and he had his leaving party last month. I was upset, because I shall miss him terribly, and I had a lot to drink.

Our cousin was there and she was knocking it back too. Her boyfriend isn’t with her and she confided in me that they were having problems. She said he had gone to stay with his sister for a few days and she thought he was going to break up with her.

When the party ended I walked back to hers with her and she invited me in. We had a few more drinks and I blurted out that my mate must be mad to leave her on her own and I would never do anything like that.

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We had sex but now she says it was just a one-time thingCredit: Getty - Contributor

She said that was really sweet of me and she kissed me on the cheek. I went in for a longer kiss and she kissed me back.

One thing led to another and we ended up in bed. The sex was just what I had been dreaming of all those years. I woke up in bed with her next morning and we were both naked.

I thought I finally stood a chance with her but at breakfast she insisted that it was a one-off and refused to say anything more. We have not talked about it since.

I still love her, though. She’s still with my mate but I cannot help my feelings for her. I want to tell her how I feel but I am scared that she will not feel the same and I could not bear that.

DEIDRE SAYS:

It is hard for you but she has made it clear that she does not see your night together as the start of something more.

Maybe because she feels guilty about cheating on her boyfriend but more likely she doesn’t see you two as right for one another as a couple, even though she’s fond of you as family.

Just to clear your mind once and for all, you could tell her that you have feelings for her and ask if she feels the same way. If she says no, you can only accept it.

In this case focusing on your feelings for her would just hold you back from looking at other possibilities and finding a loving relationship with someone who is free. My e-leaflet Moving On will help you.