The Elusive Intercourse Orgasm

We all know how the media portrays sex:

Foreplay is the removal of clothes. Then he pushed her against the nearest flat surface, be that a bed, a table, the kitchen countertop, or a brick wall (ouch!). Less than a minute later she has an orgasm. They change position and she has another. And so on.

There are a lot of inaccurate messages in that, but we more or less get most of them. The one many men and plenty of women miss is the idea that it’s normal for a woman to orgasm from thrusting of the penis (or thrusting on the penis, depending on the position). 

The truth is the majority of women can not climax from intercourse alone. The exact number of women who can varies depending on who you listen to, but it’s a minority of women. 

Why can’t most women do it? It’s not between her ears, and it’s not because of what’s between his legs or what he does with it. It comes down to how close a woman’s clitoris is to her vagina. If that distance is less than an inch, a woman’s odds of orgasm from intercourse alone are very good. As the distance gets bigger the chances of orgasm from intercourse alone rapidly falls to zero.

If you can’t get there from thrusting alone, it’s not his fault and it’s not your fault. It’s how your body developed, and there’s no way to change that. Some women in the over an inch category can orgasm if they are on top, while others can’t.

If you’re in the second group, odds are your husband still wants to have intercourse. You may also want that. So you have four choices:

1. He gives you one (or more) orgasms before intercourse.
2. He gives you one (or more) orgasms after intercourse.
3. He gives you orgasm(s) both before and after intercourse.
4. You add a small vibrator to the mix.

A vibe between your bodies near your clitoris should make intercourse orgasmic for you. You will have to play with placement and speed, but it’s a pretty sure method. 

If you go this way, I suggest a remote control vibe. No wire to break and either of you can easily change the speed. This is a basic model while this one is a bit more expensive but better built, rechargeable, and much quieter. 

~ Paul – I’m XY, and its a tool, not a toy!

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