Butt love. First of all, if you’re interested in anal, you’re not weird. Anal’s actually quite common, whether you’re in a straight relationship or a gay one. It’s just been considered taboo for quite some time, so a lot of people naturally feel less inclined to give it a shot. Even if there’s interest, an internal fear tends to take over.
Like what you like. Regardless of taboos or how you think the world might think of you once they find out you’ve started incorporating butts into your sex life (really though, how the hell would they find this kind of information out?), if it’s something you want, don’t sweep it under the rug. Embrace it. That being said, if you’re afraid your partner might not be totally on board, you’ll need to ease them into it.
Easing into the conversation. Sex is a very personal topic, and your anus is equally as personal. So when you want to bring up anal sex, you need to start slow. Treat it like anything else you might in a relationship. Be sensitive. The last thing you want to do is scare them.
Open to exploration. Make it clear to your partner that you’re interested in exploring new avenues in your sex life. At this point, you don’t need to be specific. Just be clear that you’ve been opening your mind up to new ideas. Once you eventually do mention anal, it won’t seem like it’s coming out of left field.
Adult films. Honestly, the best way to get someone familiar with anything sexual is to show them it in the form of adult films. Not only will it feel easier to swallow by seeing someone else thrust into that kind of scenario, being able to see it will help them form a kind of connection to it. Anal won’t just be this scary word — it’ll be that position those semi-attractive adult film stars were in.
Be chill. If at first they’re not into it, respond like the coolest damn cat on the block. Just respect their answer and say OK. Not only will this make them feel more comfortable in being open and honest with you, it may encourage them to want to be more giving towards you. They may respect your response so much so that it inspires them to also think outside the box — sexually speaking.
Sneaky, sneaky. While coming right out and asking your partner if they want anal might come as a bit of shocker, incorporating light anal play into your sex life might be the best approach. No, don’t violate by any means, but if you’re performing oral on them, move a finger down towards their anus and see how they react.
Get wet. If you take the sneaky finger approach, you’ll probably want to get your finger wet first. This way, they’ll know exactly how sensitive that area of theirs really is. The only thing is, don’t penetrate. Just rub your finger around their hole. If they tell you to stop, stop. But if they’re cool with it, then you may as well be riding the expressway to a more open minded partner.
Popping the question. At this point, you’re closer to being in a better place to finally pop the question — or at the very least, to make your interests known. Wait till the next time you bump uglies before bringing anything up, but when you do, be as clear about what you want as possible. Beating around the bush isn’t going to work in your favor.
Ask. At this point in your relationship, chances are you’re comfortable around each other to pretty much talk about anything. So, now that you’ve more or less planted the seeds, it’s time to rip the band-aid and ask. But when you ask, you’ll need an angle — and that angle needs to be sensitivity and selflessness. This isn’t about pleasing you. It’s about pleasing them.
A willingness. If you’re expecting your partner to take a D in the B, then why should you have it so easy. If you’re expecting them to be willing, then you should make an attempt to be willing as well. If you’re a guy, anal isn’t reserved just for women. You have a hole, so if she wants to play with yours, then you may want to consider being open to that idea.
Lube. Don’t show up at their door with a bag of lube. Don’t act as though you’re over-prepared, because excited or not, being too eager can just come off as creepy. If it happens, let it happen. Don’t turn your sex life into something that seems like the precursor to a science experiment. This is your romantic partner, not your lab partner.
Both sides. Whether you’re trying to convince your partner to top or bottom, this all still applies. Just because you want them to penetrate you doesn’t change the fact that it can still be something that they consider to be taboo. Just make sure to keep their views and feelings into consideration.
Don’t be pushy. If you really want anal, don’t be a freak about it. Be gentle. The pushier you are, the more likely it’ll be that you’ll scare your partner away from it for good. If they’re open to it, they’ll engage eventually. Otherwise, they’ll probably just end up resenting the very idea of it.
Doing the deed. If you eventually persuade them into anal, that doesn’t mean all bets are off. You still need to handle the situation as gently as ever. Look at this way, if you’re too intense on the first attempt, you’re only heightening your chances of scaring them out of wanting to give it a shot ever again. So… be smooth,
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