Everything You Need To Know About Going To A Sex Party

Sex parties have been around for some time but they’ve received a special amount of attention this year. Whether you’ve been to a sex party or not you probably have some idea of what they are like. The newfound popularity could be related to the rise in polyamory amongst the younger generation, or gender fluidity, or maybe sex parties are just more organized than they used to be.  Whatever the case may be, sex parties are on the rise and people want to know more about them. Here’s everything you need to know about going to a sex party.

Would you go to a sex party? Let us know in the comments!

Scott Brown. Scott Brown, self-described “Sexpert.” He has a website called sexpressed.com, which includes articles and videos about sex. The videos have titled like “How to female ejaculate.”

Nerve. Brown sat down with the internet’s leading sex site, Nerve to talk about all things sex parties. Here are some takeaways for that interview.

Find out. How does one find out about a sex party? According to Brown, it’s pretty simple — you Google. "Quick Google search for burner parties, swingers parties, play parties, or lifestyle parties will lead you to dozens of events happening in your area. “ he says.

Small Community. Brown says that the sex party community is quite small. Because of that, once you go to one you’ll quickly find out about all the others. Like any other community there’s email lists, Facebook groups, etc.

Safety. How are the sex parties kept safe— that’s the second question posed to Scott Brown. Once again the answer is pretty close to what you’d expect — they screen people who attend.

Screening process. If you want to go to a sex party, don’t think you can just mosey in. Brown says, “There is a basic screening process in place for most parties. You are usually required to submit a photo, provide identifying information and explain why you’re interested in going in advance. “

There’s risk. However, Brown clarifies that if you’re going to go to a sex party, you have to acknowledge that there’s risk involved. He says the community uses an “honor system” and therefore every attendee must use personal discretion.

STD’s. When it comes to STD’s, you have to think of it as being the same as going home with someone who you meet. Other than that, cleaning supplies are made “readily available,” like condoms, paper towels, lube, cleaning wipes, etc.

What does one bring? Do you bring wine? What kind? Red? White? Shiraz? According to Brown, some parties are BYOB while others provide the alcohol so that just depends on which party you’re attending and who’s throwing it.

Themes. The parties are often themed according to Brown and dressing appropriately is considered important. Common sex party themes include: white parties, Halloween parties and the 80’s. He recommends that if you have a special condom or lube brand you like, you bring it.

Sex toys. Sex toys are not made available for public use at sex parties. Passing around a sex toy for anyone at the party to use would be unhygienic. One could bring a sex toy with them if they wanted, but really all a person needs to bring is themselves.

Sex party rules. Brown says there’s a buddy system at most sex parties. Basically what that means is you come with someone and you leave with that same person. This keeps people well behaved.

Agressive. Being aggressive is not well-recieved at these parties, particularly what Brown refers to as “aggressive cruising.” Brown explains."The term cruising is a lifestyle word that essentially means 'flirting with a purpose,' with the purpose being hooking up with that person. Cruising is a part of the sex party culture and everyone accepts cruising. But when you aggressively cruise it can get you in trouble or even kicked out.”

How to tell This brings up the obvious question, “how do you know whether someone wants to have sex?” Basically, you cruise delicately and if you don’t perceive interest, you move on. Anyone who puts on too much pressure gets kicked out. The consent rule is you do not touch anyone or do anything without express consent. That’s the most important rule and if you break it you get kicked out."

Who goes. Finally, “Who goes to these parties?” Brown says some parties have specific demographics, like all-Latin parties. Others have people of different classes, or people into BDSM or other fetishes. Some are specific to people who are bi-curious, straight or gay. The ones that are the most general however have the most people attending.