10 Kinky Things Women Do That Men Are Completely Obsessed With

(As written by a man.)

As much as it’s against my personal creed, I’ll be honest for a second. Upon receiving this assignment, I had to look up kinky in the dictionary because I’m a chili cheese fries kinda guy when it comes to sex: meat and potatoes, and a little cheesy.

Internet dictionary defines kinky as “involving or given to unusual sexual behavior.” And I’ll be damned if the word “unusual” doesn’t plop into this whole operation like a number two shot out of a t-shirt cannon.

For some folks, “unusual” may mean leaving the lights on, and for others it may mean being pegged by
a criminally insane drifter they met at the grand opening of a Starbucks. But if drunk convos with my friends and lurking around YourTango informs me of anything, most of us are somewhere deliciously between these two things.

 

For most dudes, the whole kinky thing is about novelty. For others, it’s about unresolved formative trauma. And, if you’re lucky, both. Let’s concentrate on novelty. Periodically it’s gratifying to convince our caveman brains that we’re ensuring our genetics are passed as widely as possible even if we’re not Ashley Madison-ing it up out there.

Here are 10 things kinky women are seriously great at doing that men seriously dig:

1. Talking dirty

When in doubt, just go with “[verb expletive] my [noun expletive], baby.”

2. Roughing it

Put his hands on your throat if you like being choked. Asked to be spanked if that’s your thing. And if you're interested in having your hair pulled, just
do it doggie-style.

3. Having super-sexy underwear

Own (and wear) completely impractical lingerie. I don’t know how it’s possible, but thigh-high stockings are somehow sexier than no stockings at all. 

4. Backing that ass up

It’s hardly a taboo anymore, but don't immediately poopoo the idea of butt stuff. And don't Amber Rose it all over the internet if he likes being on the receiving end.

5. Asking for what they want

Be aggressive. Request position changes. Tell him what you want to do to him and, if you want to choke him, there are like 0.0001 percent of guys who may be cool with it. 

6. Bossing you around

Insist on him not using his hands once in a while. But don't let him go hands-free too much or he'll get lazy. 

7. Filming it

Take precautions that it doesn’t end up in Kris Jenner’s hands, but saying you want to "watch" it later is melt-your-face-off-like-Raiders-Of-The-Lost-Ark hot.

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8. Exploring herself

Explore yourself with your finger and then put it in his mouth. If you’re feeling fun, do the same with his finger and your mouth.

9. Sitting on your face

I'm not even sure if you should ask. I know I know, social contract. I know women have decided they hate 69-ing,
 so face the other direction and "concentrate" on your magic. 

moviequotesonline10. Making you clean up

Be exceptionally clear where you want his DNA to go, even if it’s to be Spider-Man-ed directly into one of the cheaper towels.

Go out and get (mildly) freaky. You’ll be surprised what a virtuous cycle stepping out of your comfort zone with a little kink may start.